Fire burn, and cauldron bubble

Earthquakes are real bad things, take my word for it. Especially if they mean business.
My childhood perception of earthquakes was a little different from the real truth, though. More than the shaking and crumbling, I imagined the ground splitting into two and gobbling up everything in sight. At least, that's what my early geography books made me believe.
My books also taught me that in Japan, where earthquakes are as frequent as evening showers, people built their houses from paper. This, I felt, may create hilarious domestic conversations... like this one:

Dad: Kwung-Choo... my son, get me a peice of paper, please. I gotta jot down this phone number.

Kwung-Chuu: In a minute, dad ... (and, a minute and several ripping sounds later) Here, will this door do?

Dad (very angry): Son! This is the third door you have wrecked this month! The next one's going to come from your NOTEBOOK!

No, but seriously ... though I must admit that paper walls crashing on you during an earthquake may not hurt half as much as concrete ones, what do they do if the place catches fire? As far as I can imagine, Kwung-Chuu's proud castle will be lighting up the place like a Japanese lamp.
Or, what would he do if the Big Bad Wolf decides to come and huff 'n' puff outside his door?
Now, I know that I have been making these conclusions without doing adequate research. For all I know, Mr Chuu must have treated his walls with some kind of anti-fire solution .... and maybe he kept a cannon behind his paper door to drive away the wolves.
Well, in any case, this post ain't about Kwung-Chuu or his paper mansion. It's about earthquakes. About the two quakes I had the good fortune to experience in the last 28 years of my life.
Why do I say good fortune? There are reasons...

Strike 1

The first one struck when I was residing in Gadchandur, about thirty kilometres from the railway track I had blogged about two posts ago. As fate would have it, I was in the bathroom - taking a shower even as I bathroom-sang a certain Mithun Chakraborty number.
At first, I didn't notice it - it was more like a slight vibration creeping up the walls, the sort you experience when you're on a bridge and a tanker's passing by. But then, the vibration started getting louder - until I could literally see the walls around me shake in their shoes.
Even as I heard my folks yell in alarm from the outside, I stood on the crossroads of an awful dilemma. The question was: Do I run outside stark naked and save my life, or do I stay in here and save my modesty.
And as I stood there, debating the issue to myself, the walls stopped shuddering and the floor under my feet seemed to go back to sleep. And that's how I managed to retain both my life and my modesty.
Indecision may have cost Hamlet a lot, but for me it seemed to have brought nothing but good luck.

Strike 2

My second encounter with the quake-guy happened when I was doing my second year (English Literature) in MCC.
It was eight-thirty in the evening and I was sitting in my room, reading a book. Suddenly the walls, the earth and everything around me started shaking ... and I jumped up with a full-fledged war-cry on my lips.
Everyone around me was running for the stairs. And even as I tried to join the great majority and reach for safety, I slipped on a pool of water on the floor and landed on the floor with a resounding SPLAT.
When I looked up, the quake had stopped and everyone was standing around me, giggling.

But the real action was happening at that moment in our hostel chapel, where a certain firebrand pastor was delivering his evening sermon.
Now, the Bible has a line that goes something like this: "Though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea, I shall stand my ground - because the Lord our God is with me. (Psa 46:1-3)"
According to reliable sources, the pastor was explaining the meaning of these very words when the earthquake started. And even as the small congregation of students watched the walls around them tremble, our man picked the Holy Book and sprinted out of the building.
Maybe the Lord was trying to make a point there.
Ol' Mac was so busy conversing with somebody in a phonebooth at the MCC maingate, that he never even noticed the quake come and go by. I can't remember if Shain was around, then.

P.S: I must admit that the god of earthquakes has been quite merciful to me until now. But the next time he attacks, I hope he doesn't catch me with my pants down...

(Dinosaur sketch: Courtesy www.cartoonstock.com)